Revelation in 2017 - It’s never been about me……
My amazing God has connected the dots and given me revelation of the process He used to get me from where I was to where He wanted me to be…… where He wants me to be right now, to fulfill His purpose for my life.
We are made by God, for God.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family who eventually went to church. I thought that I loved God, but I don’t believe I really knew Him. At the age of 17, I left Him to go into the world to find the love I never had.
I went from one abusive relationship to another for 30 years, trying to fill the empty space in my heart and failing miserably.
At the age of 47, God had finally brought me to a place where I came to Him…..a broken, drunken mess, on the verge of loosing everything I had worked for; I cried out to Him to help me, and He reached down and said “I’ve been waiting for you”. I was the prodigal daughter and the women at the well.
That was 11 years ago…..and the journey began. That is where the “But God” changed my story……..
My journey started out very lonely, as I had to give up what was normal for me and grab onto what I had to do to serve the Lord. I married the man I was living with but he didn’t want to go to church and really thought I would change back. When I continued to serve the Lord he didn’t want anything to do with me. I didn’t have any friends, any social group and didn’t really fit in at the church I went to. I sat alone. After all, what do you do with a 40 something newly saved women in the church who cries through every worship service? I think I was a weirdo.
It was just me and Jesus…..studying the Word, going to church every chance I got, listening to Joyce Meyer and preachers on the television, crying and repenting and hanging on.
After 2 years I moved and changed churches, but nothing about my social life changed. I went alone, sat alone, and served alone. My husband divorced me.
It was not about me. It was about God. I just hung on to Him. I learned to look forward to the pruning.
I went through several years of Second Mile Ministry Training at Guts Church and learned more and more about God.
Then one day in 2010, with a suddenly, God changed everything. He gave me a motorcycle at Guts Church motorcycle rally. He gave me a people group. I learned to ride and joined the Priesthood Motorcycle Ministry and I finally had Christian friends. I had people to serve with…..I did not have to serve alone any longer.
I had a dream one night that didn’t make any sense. I dreamed that I was walking down a sidewalk at a prison, met a young women coming towards me, hugged her and we walked away together. I forgot about this dream until about a year ago.
Recent revelation showed me that God was setting everything in motion. He gave me a dream. He gave me a people group. There, I would meet and serve with people who had spent time in jail and prison and were now serving Him. He showed me how He transforms lives.
Fast forward to 2014 when I married Stan Wilson, who I met while serving the Lord with our motorcycles. I moved to Dewey, Ok and left my friends and ministry behind.
Three months after we married I fell in our driveway and broke my kneecap. I was broken and crippled. Then came endless questions came as to why this would happen….why I would have to go through the unbelievable pain and trial and expense (no insurance) of this.
I gave up my motorcycle, thinking I would not be able to ride again.
A few months later, our pastor’s wife asked if I would be willing to go into the county jail with her and minister to the women there. I said yes, and God changed everything again.
God put those women in the jail in my heart so deeply I looked forward to the day each week I could go there and love them and teach them what God had taught me.
I got another motorcycle so I can ride again, but am limited in the longevity of my rides.
He then opened the door for me to volunteer with a sober living ministry and taught me more and more about re-entry ministry…..and about really dying to myself. He taught me that when I mess things up I am not a failure; I just have a lot more to learn. He taught me to be a excellent learner. When that ministry closed their women’s house, I knew it was not the end of that for me.
God had been grooming me for this. The need is great for places for women coming out of incarceration and rehab to live, places where they can start fresh and have an opportunity to do something different.
In the summer of 2016, He led Stan and I to "Building Bridges of Oklahoma" and gave us another people group to serve, and new tools to use.
God sent a women to give me a prophesy of a “Harvest Tool” in my hand and He told me that the seeds I was planting by teaching His Word in the jail would produce fruit…….. He put the vision and dream of “Bridge Houses” in my heart with the Dream of Harvest for His Kingdom.
Now the work begins. God taught me about starting a non-profit, and how to do things I never even thought about doing. I learned how to wait on the Lord and not run ahead and birth an Ishmael. I learned to appreciate closed doors, since the ones He opens are so amazing. I am again going through a season of voluntary pruning. I learned without a doubt that it’s never been about me…….that everything He has brought me through is for His purpose.
God showed me this week that the broken kneecap was the sign to lay down the motorcycle ministry. He is done with that in me. That is why it hasn’t been productive or satisfying here. He has been prepping me for this because I have to choose my priorities for time and money. Painful in so many ways, but I am being molded for His use.
I am humbled. I am thankful. I am excited. I am expectant. I am learning more and more to trust in Him, because there is nothing about “Bridge Houses” that is about me. It has never been about me.
We are made by God, for God.
Our Amazing God!